Solitude: The Art of Being Alone

Definition of SolitudeHow do you define solitude, in a positive or negative? Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “the quality or state of being alone or remote from society: seclusion.” On the contrary, solitude is a positive state of being. You can be in solitude and not be lonely and vice versa.


Benefits of Practicing Solitude


1. It minimizes stress levels – The way you practice solitude will help with decreasing the stress of our daily lives. When you crave some time to yourself, you might spend that time by doing some yoga, meditation, reading a book, taking an online course, looking at nature, sipping some tea, or whatever your heart’s desire. All of those activities are extremely beneficial to you not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

2. It gets the creative juices flowing – Even if you’re not a writer, did you ever have writer’s block or a mental block? Where you just keep hitting a wall when it comes to writing or doing something creative? Spending time alone with your thoughts will open up your mind to such creative, endless possibilities. When you tell your mind ‘stop thinking’ guess what’s going to happen? So just kick up your feet, enjoy that cup of tea and wait for the creative magic to happen.

Improve Your Relationship

3. You develop a better sense of self – Through my teens and 20’s I didn’t know who I was. I would happily parade around with my peers and we all thought and felt and experienced life as a group. At times, I didn’t do the best of things, I was a delinquent and would do anything for a laugh or to climb our group’s social ladder… peer pressure! When I eventually started to live alone I realized solitude doesn’t have to be lonely, I can enjoy it and use it to my advantage, and the real me started to unfold. I found time to work onย my self-development and finally found my self-identity. Every day I am adding more to who I am as a person in this world.

4. Solitude can improve your relationships – I saw a meme one day and immediately sent it to my husband. It said something like ‘I want someone I can share my life with, who will leave me alone most of the time’. That is epitome of our marriage. I told my husband to go play golf whenever he wants because I enjoy quiet time when I can do whatever I want for myself. His response: “PERFECT!” No wonder it still feels like we’re still in our honeymoon phase, we have the perfect balance of solitude and togetherness.



Give Yourself Time: You Deserve It

Why do people always put themselves last? When you fly doesn’t the flight attendant tell you in case of emergency to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? Albeit, an extreme example but I think you catch my drift. What good can you do if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Giving yourself time is not being selfish, it’s promoting self-care and self-love. You must learn to love yourself and realize your body is your temple, it’s your responsibility. You must treat your body temple with care and general maintenance. Keep your body and mind in shape and you will develop an amazing and wonderful boost of self-confidence and self-love. Every being on this planet deserves to feel that way.

It’s sad to know there is an over-abundance of body shame and low self-esteem in people. It can stem from as early back as childhood trauma, and hard to defeat because we put so many mental barriers in our way through self-sabotage. Do everything you can to get over those mental barriers, through counseling, drug or alcohol rehabilitation if applicable, cognitive behavioral therapy workshops, neural-linguistic programming, spiritual service, etc. Once you release those traumas you will finally realize “Yes! I deserve to feel happy, I deserve to feel love, I love myself and won’t settle for anything else!”

Give yourself time to heal and transformation will always follow. You will then have the strength become the best version of yourself that you can ever imagine.


Practice Patience

Many times, I would get so annoyed at myself for practicing a meditation and my mind would wander the whole time. I would give up after a few tries and wonder what I was doing wrong.Losing Patience

But I wasn’t doing anything wrong, besides not exercising patience.

#1 Rule to Practicing Patience – Slow down! I don’t know why this world is in such a big hurry. It exacerbates my anxiety when I see how quick some people live their lives and yet sometimes I get caught up too and find myself running that hamster wheel. But I’m quick to jump off and practice mindfulness and patience. Remind yourself throughout the day to slow down, and you’ll learn to enjoy every moment.

#2 Rule – Concentrate on Your Breathing. When you find yourself stressed and becoming impatient, just close your eyes and concentrate on your breath. Try to picture your lungs filling with oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide, then slow your breath down. This will immediately relax you.

#3 Rule for Patience – No One Holds Your Power; Only You. People are quick to blame others for their state of anger or frustration whether at a doctor’s office or in a traffic jam. The quote above is so important to realize because it’s not what we go through in this life, it’s how we deal with it. You are the only one who has the power to control your emotions. Don’t give that power to anybody else.


Mindfulness: Living in the Moment

Many people’s minds either live in the past or the future. Have you ever noticed how much you think of what to have for dinner, what to do on the weekend or remember the disagreement you had with a co-worker or a significant other? The majority of our days are spent planning for the future or remembering events of the past. Very rarely do we notice the present world we live in.

Becoming mindful means you become aware of the present moment, and start to focus on it. When you practice mindfulness, you will start to develop an open and accepting attitude. You will start to look at things in your life through curious eyes and notice your control on what you give your attention to.

It can be difficult to know how to begin, but once you get the hang of it, you will always have it. Kind of like riding a bicycle, you will always remember.

To practice this you must eliminate all distractions, sit comfortably, and just concentrate on your inhalation and exhalation. When a random thought comes to your mind (which it definitely will), it’s okay, just become aware of it, let it go and gently return to the present moment. Soon you will master the art of mindfulness.


Solitude is EmpoweringSolitude Is Empowering to Your Spirit

Your friends and family may think you’re ‘lazy’ for living a life of self development and mindfulness, because they may not understand it or may think you’re wasting your time. That’s far from the truth, in fact solitude can be very empowering.

I believe in the adage that it’s none of my business what others think of me.

My daily practice of solitude can come in many forms: Allow myself enough sleep, exercise through cardio and weight-training, meditate, prepare home-cooked meals, do chores, work on my website and training, go for a walk downtown to do errands while enjoying the fresh air and scenery.. whatever my heart’s desire and what my spirit needs.

So don’t be afraid to spend time in solitude. With so many benefits everyone should be doing it on the daily. It can lead to personal strength, creative imagination, intellectual discoveries, and mental fortitude.

Peace and blessings <3

10 thoughts on “Solitude: The Art of Being Alone”

  • Hi Shauna,
    I thrive in my “me” time. I had to learn to like being alone when I was a military wife. My husband was always gone and I was always alone. It took awhile but soon I began to really enjoy that time alone and fell in love with myself. Now, I find myself craving that time. And you are right about doing little simple things alone. I spend time by myself at my home. I won’t go anywhere. I’ll just sit at home. Make myself some coffee and a meal and just relax. Read a book or nestle in for a movie I’ve been waiting to see. If I feel like getting out in the world I’ll go down to the local bookstore and find my favorite new books, get a cup of coffee and browse all the new material from a cozy spot where I can watch the world happen around me when I’m not reading.

    • Hi Jennifer,

      That sounds so relaxing! I’m so glad you discovered the importance of solitude. I really wish my small town had a bookstore so I could do the same! haha. I do a lot of book ordering through Amazon however. Is there any you recommend?
      Now that I have some time to myself throughout the day, I get so much accomplished and find myself more busier now than when I had a full-time job! But bettering myself physically, emotionally and spiritually is my top priority. If I don’t get to my endless ‘to-do list’ then that’s okay too. Hope all is well.
      Have a wonderful day <3

  • wow what a post and I can more than agree. Many years ago I used to practice much of the above and I was far calmer then. Over time, life stresses seem to build up and you find yourself all over the place. I have recently decided that now I need to take a couple of hours out a day and concentrate on not only some me time, but some silence and relaxation.

    • Thanks so much for the positive comment, I really do appreciate it. I try to put my heart and soul into every post I make.

      About the silence and relaxation, that’s a great idea, Adam. Sometimes we don’t realize that life’s daily pressures seem to add up until it’s almost too late and we burn out. Stress is so damaging and can lead to serious health issues. Sometimes we need a reminder to just stop, take a breath and realize we need time to rest and recharge ourselves.

      Have a great day <3

  • Brilliant article, I keep telling my GF I require nothing in a relationship other than to be left alone – she doesn’t quite get it and I get no space…very suffocating!

    • Wow, that can be very frustrating Derek! Maybe she needs a sacred space of her own where she can read new books, practice meditation, sit comfortably and listen to a wonderful playlist, write in a journal or take an online self-development course. Who knows, one of those examples could become a new hobby for her and she’ll give you the space you crave.
      Have a great day <3

  • Great article. I spend most of my time in my room (well in the past i was playing games but not i try to do something useful). People outsite are too chit chatty and it tires me. That’s why an online business will just fit me fine (well i’m not antisocial or something when i find something to talk i talk to the point that might become tiring). Everything i deem important to talk, that’s what i will talk and devote my time. Tired of peaople telling me to go out and do stuff. People do the same worthless stuff again and again even if they are told otherwise (and understand what they are doing it is wrong, that’s important). Bad habits die hard i guess.

    • Thank you for the comment George.
      I agree with you 100%, people do like to speak a little too much mostly about the weather or some other superficial and shallow conversation. It gives me a headache most of the time. I like to speak when it is something meaningful, deep and thoughtful. I like substance.
      People tell me to be more outgoing as well so I can understand that frustration. I just need to remind myself that I’m living my life for me, nobody else and I don’t feel the slightest ounce of guilt. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Hello Shauna,
    I come from a family of psychics and my Mom loved being alone. She said she never got bored and she always kept herself busy. Meditation was a big part of her routine. She always taught me to live in the now, being mindful. So, I must agree with you that solitude can definitely be very empowering.. My mom did astral projection during meditation. She said as you advance in meditation it starts to happen freely. She also said many people get scared they cannot get back to themselves but she always said that the universe will never give you more than you can handle.
    Nicely written article and website.

    • Hi there Cynthia,
      Thank you for the kind words. You and your mom sound just wonderful! It’s always great to hear from like-minded people ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m interested in the astral projection meditations and would like to advance to the same stage as your mom some day so it’s encouraging to hear about that.
      I think the universe is at play, I just finished a post on meditation for beginners and how important it is to be mindful and live in the present moment of awareness!
      I think I’m on the right path ๐Ÿ™‚
      Peace and Blessings

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